Cycling Nightmare!

I like how I feel after a work out and LOVE the way I look when I lose weight. My friend KJ got me to come to my first cycling class. To say I was nervous was an understatement. The last time I road a bike I was blacking out at my friends front door. Yes, it was about 100 degrees outside at the time, I was biking uphill and I am very susceptible to heat exhaustion.. but nonetheless it was dramatic and frightening. I had this fear that, though the bike was stationary and in an air conditioned room, I would pass out and make a fool of myself. But despite my fears I showed up early Monday morning ready for a spin!

I felt good, had my morning coffee sans breakfast; first mistake. I went into the class and saw some friends of mine and the teacher helped set up the bike for me. As I mounted the position felt a bit awkward. Not only was my bottom feeling violated, I couldn't see how I was gonna peddle without holding the handle bars. It took some time but I got the gist! I started to get some confidence and as the first two warm up songs played I bopped to the beat. All was going great. Then the fast paced, "Jai Ho" song came on. My heart was fluttering with the fast beat... sweat was already pouring down my face. When the instructor says, "OK! Up off the seat!" I looked at her shocked. She was telling us to turn up the tension on the bike but I had no flippin' clue how to. So to not look like a fool I stood up (the bike was set on the least tension) and began running on the bike. About ten seconds passed... a cold sweat came over me as I felt all life drain from my face. I hear the instructor ask, "Excuse me? Are you alright?... Don't stop peddling! Keep moving.." Her words became very fuzzy as the grayish stars blinded my vision. I tried holding up one hand to show I was done but it seemed like I had lost all function of my limbs. Nausea came over me and if I did not bolt for the bathroom my fellow spinners were going to witness something gross. I threw myself off the bike and zombie-stomped my way out and for the bathroom. Yeah, I pretty much almost passed out in Cycling Class.

Next Monday I WILL be back... this time I will eat breakfast and learn how to control the tension in the bike. If someone needed to pass out or puke their brains out it would have had to of been me... *sigh... Only Me!

This weekend was a fiasco!

My weekend started off with a flash... a chest flash, that is. As I was jammin out to some old school N'Sync with my sister and friend, in the car driving down the interstate, I noticed a black jeep hovering over in the right lane beside me. I didn't give the boy any attention and kept my car in cruise control. But he never went away. This went on for a couple of exits. Finally his exit came and as he veered off we glanced over and he totally chest flashed us!!! ewwwee!!

The next day was more embarrassing than anything. I had been invited to a bridal shower for a friend of mine which I haven't seen in years. I still keep in contact with her family and was super excited about the invite. I had gone and got a present, picked out the perfect thing to wear, and I even did my hair:) Well I get to the development and needed a passcode to enter. I tried the number in the invitation and no answer. I soon found myself in a web of phone calls to get a hold of the hostess. After a little hunting down, I got the passcode and made my way to the house. It seemed odd that I was ten minutes early (or so I thought) and their were only two cars there. I got up to the house and was met by a woman who explained the party wasn't for another 2 hours... I read the invitation wrong!! So I packed myself back up in the car and headed back home. I was unable to come back to the event and maybe that was a good thing... so I wouldn't be known as the girl who can't read an invitation correctly.

On my way back from the almost-party I took a toll way. Every toll I stopped at to pay, the green light flashed, "OK, Go." Hmm.. I wasn't taking any chances and paid the toll anyways. I got back to the house and realized, duh, I had my dad's pre paid toll reader in the front console. Well that was a waste of $4.25!!

All I can say is, "Only me!"

I think it's hereditary

I think.. wait, I know that these unfortunate, embarrassing moments ARE hereditary! Oh yes... I get it from my dear mother. Also, my poor sister suffers from this as well. This weekend was my older brother, Michael's, wedding. We had three days of fun and amongst all this there were the "only me" episodes.. but I wasn't the only star. Let me introduce you to my mom, Debbie-

and my sister, Traci-

Instead of writing out all the hooplah's of things done.. here is a list-

1. Traci, just 30 minutes before the wedding ceremony, loses a toenail. Blood pouring out all over her open toed shoes.

2. My mom accidentally steps on Michael's sister-in-law's dog, falls into the entertainment center, sends the giant flat screen tv into a wobble and everyone came running into the room. Everything was ok, except for her ego.

3. I needed to take my dad back to the house to change shoes before the rehearsal luncheon my parents were hosting... an hour later, we show up and it was over. I got a little lost.

4. I mauled a squirrel.

5. My mom knocked over some champagne glasses, making a loud clashing sound that turned every one's head.

6. And then this... of yes they did!

My brother's grooms cake. too bad our last name is spelt, "Schnepf". But it was good:)

The pictire above...

Let me tell you the story about the picture at the top of my blog. This just happened last week in Kalimpong, India. The Hindu's have a festival called, "Holi" where they fling colors (paint, colored water and powder) all over each other. It look quite fun with some people, but also a bit rough with some others. My friend Amy and I decided to venture out into town the day of Holi. We were on Main Rd. minding our own business as we watched some young men have a massive paint fight in the middle of the road. Amy and I tried to blend in with the onlookers and took some pictures. As I was looking through the lens I saw one boy point straight at us and started towards us. "I think we should get going," I told Amy in a hurry. Just then one boy was chasing Amy down an alley way. She was loudly screaming and shouting, "No! NO! You will NOT put that on me!!"

I was trying to snap a photo of this and out of the corner of my eye I saw a boy covered in silver paint lunging towards me. I took off and sprinted down the sidewalk, pushing people outta my way. I ran far and when I got to some steps, stopped to look and see where Amy was. I thought for sure this boy would have given up and gone back to his friends.. nope. Just then the boy grabs my arm, pulls me into him and smeared my cheek and hair with silver paint. I just yelled, "NoooooOOOOooooo!!!!" and squatted down. The perpetrator took off and I wiped the paint form my eye to look for Amy.

When she did emerge from the crowd, she had no paint on her, yet a big smile and lots of laughs. As we walked through town people stopped and starred and had a good laugh in my humiliation. But it was all in fun... not voluntary, though. Only me.

You ain't my momma!

As a child did you ever grab the hand of another woman in the grocery store thinking it was your own mothers hand, but the softness was different and the grasp wasn't as tight and when you glanced up it was a complete stranger? I've done this many times as a kid. I've even jumped onto the cart of someone else and when it came to a sudden halt, the elderly woman on the other end looked at me with utter confusion. Embarrassment shone on my face like sunburn as I ran from her.

Now as an adult, I guess these things still happen. Just yesterday I was in a department store shopping with my sister and mom. I came up to one rack, my sister at my side, and saw a puff of red hair on the woman on the other side of the rack. I simply said, in a rather loud voice, "Hey Momma!" Before I could even tell I did something wrong, I heard my sister sigh and full of embarrassment say, "Kristina! Oh my gossshhhhh!" as she hung her head low. I popped up and there she was, a pretty woman, but not my mom. I laughed and tried to explain myself to her, but she just went back to shopping and ignored me. My explanation got the attention of the other shoppers around me and I felt a blushing come over my face. I slipped away from that section and shared a good laugh with my sister.

Only me.